Everything’s for Sale

January 29, 2025

We have some dear friends in Tulsa who, over the years have lived in at least 8 houses. Maybe more — I might have lost a couple when we were out of town in the 90s. The average is probably around once every 5 years. They’re not house-flippers, just people who seem to relish the opportunities presented with change.

They have realtor friends who, when showing homes to people and learning their wants and needs, will say: “I think I have a house like that, but it’s not for sale. Let me make a call.” Invariably that leads to a tour, which leads to an offer, and this family moves. Either to a new home or a rental while they build/remodel a new place.

Over the same period, with cross-country moves, we’ve had 5. Even that number might seem excessive to some.

I’ve always admired them for that. They say: “Everything’s for sale,” which can be a freeing revelation. Don’t get attached to a place; it’s only an address. They do maintain many treasured mementos — antique furnishings, or family Christmas ornaments on new trees, for example.

Talking recently to another friend about possibly selling his house, he angsted and stressed over ALL THE STUFF that he’d have to move, put in storage, and uproot his family in the process. I can’t fault him for that; we’re contemplating such changes now that it’s just us, and the enormity of the task is overwhelming. ALL THE STUFF.

Back in 2016, we moved out to South Tulsa so Piper could be in her chosen school, and then returned to our place in 2019, so we’ve already done a couple of rounds of culling our lives of stuff we no longer needed. I particularly remember FINALLY throwing away college textbooks that I packed to move to Seattle, brought back, and hadn’t opened in decades.

Even though it sometimes feels like I have too much crap, I contrast this with my Mom’s house. Our family built and moved in to that house 51 years ago, and I DREAD what it’ll be like to clean that house out. My Mom says often: “That’s a job I’m leaving for YOU.”

But now, personally, it’s happened: in December I accepted a Director of IT position with Green County, Wisconsin. I’m in Monroe, WI while my wife is in Tulsa presiding over a small army of contractors, fixing things we always said we’d fix. Painting things that for too long have needed painting, and basically refreshing things in our beautiful 87-year-old Georgian Colonial for the next owners, after 24 years in the same house. Longer than we’d stayed anywhere. I can tell I’ve lived here a long time because in recent years I’m fixing things I’ve fixed before.

It’s understandably bittersweet, but we also know that the odds of our daughter in college ever coming back to Tulsa are infinitesimal. I can easily project years into the future and don’t want her to have to clean out all my useless crap. I get to proactively clean out the junk, and trim our lives down to the important essences.

Among our friend group in Tulsa, few have had the experiences of multiple cross-country moves, and I like to think we’re getting good at it. Our first big move to Seattle taught us much, and now we’re hopefully better at curating our collections to just the good stuff and moving that, not the crap.

We’ll see…

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